The codger and the cat ('Kallen og katten') by Jakob Sande

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Oh, Simon the fisher lived with a cat
World-weary and old they were
And both were afraid of water
And both had almost no hair

And when the sand had nearly run out
The codger thought to himself
Perhaps it's best to put it to rest
Send it ahead before going myself

Many a thing the codger tried
Gun-oil and switchblades and knife
But those in the know, they know from before
That cats have many lives

He tried as he might
He struggled to send
His cat to a better place
He fell upon that fell idea
To kill it with dynamite

He bought the stick at the general store
Asked for the finest fuse
Strolled home believing that finally
The matter would be closed

He went to his cat in the garden
Trembling he fastened the stick
Underbelly he placed it, secured it
With sock garters thrice bound

He ran as soon as he lit it
And shuddered though long was the fuse
Couldn't have known what would happen
When the cat saw him sprint

In his hurry away from the cat
Stiff-legged as a cow he rushed
He saw the cat right at his heels
Jumping for joy

Unnerved more and more
When he saw how the cat turned gay
Friskier more and more
It thought the codger was at play

He ran like a youth of 18
Trampled down growing grain
No one can wonder, then
That the cat was aflame

And the codger steered towards the fence
Clutched his chest
Blew like a bellows
And the cat ran between his legs
The fuse a-glow

Shorter and shorter the fuse
He felt it more than he saw
Faster and faster the codger
To a barn by field's end

Simon the fisher, grave-dodger
Bandy-legged and rotund
Raced death and beat it
By nary a second

At the height of his troubles
He found shelter at last
Right before the blast
Dust in the air like mist

The door and parts of the wall
Collapsed with a crash
Some splinters in his thigh and his calf
But his rear caught the lion's share

And doctor and priest was sent for
Patched the codger right up
He was up to the very end
But the cat was never seen again