Original writings

A madder loss

No-one have ever seen out of their eyes
our daydreams are gently corrected by light
that affectionate granddad who knows all the rules
but never when to break them

— O grandfather, tell why I cannot have
one eye in the forehead and one in the nape?
I yearn to cast rays like the ancient queens
and walk in my cobwebbed thoughts
— O granddaughter, blind yourself! ---------
In your deprivation you may learn to see
to your own heart's desire

I never did know the appearance of birds
I thought they would sing out of envy and rage
an unwanted secret like mouths in our clothes
that talk back at people in their own argot:
Between their attentions the ropes are so dense
I'm saddled with, charged-off, except for my neck

A toad in a tunnel that scrambles the wall
my shadow is too big to eat
It throws itself into a panic that sinks into rock
while abandoning body like Theseus' ship
A liminal warning of wastelands beyond
no ghost bugs to trigger its tongue

I scramble the side of an archaic barrow
the sunset-upset shoves me into a panic
abandoning body I sink into chambers
A liminal promise of unshackled bondage

The arc of a spine curves away from the unfocused
caput of someone outside — hands in lap —
who asserts various points with the skeletal flower
of unfurling folding phalanges

Someone inside
a dead boy in bed
a darling-doll cat
that will dissociate
from its smothering god
Look in his eyes how the quicksilver runs
his predator silence is non-action now
I straddle on top of him
hear the still air
how it punctures the slaps of our flesh
— so he splits —
like I am the ghost that he just won't concede
and the laugh-track for fidgeting hands in his lap
We flicker and fade into scornful flecks
that twist in the wind

The skeletal flower breaks up with a sigh
and half of it nurtures the sacral strain
The other one indicates murmuring stars
that are schooling like sunspots on windswept seas

— O grandfather, tell me, o how can this be?
— O granddaughter, see yourself! ---------
These bats do not screech out of envy nor rage
they swarm to find home in the softest cage.

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Kaci, 14.05.2025